We are in the thick of it. This video, "If I Were A Young Woman Now," gave me pause and reminded me it's in moments like these I may need to take a step back again.
This video was published a couple of years ago, but I only just saw it for the first time yesterday. It completely wrecked me and brought me to tears.
We are so in the thick of it right now. Work has been extremely demanding, with a ton of pressure. Our home life has been stressful, for multiple reasons, including needing to find a new nanny, my youngest entering her terrible-twos, my son extending bedtime at night and no longer sleeping the way he used to. On top of this, trying to manage all the normal tasks of life to keep things going - keeping the family fed, clean, and healthy, paying bills, running the house. And of course, for our family, we also have my son's food allergies to manage. It has been a crazy time.
I do my best to try to keep perspective. That was the main impetus for why I started this blog in the first place - to keep myself in check and give myself a reason to pull myself up regularly from the day-to-day crazy to reflect and make sure I soak it all in. In my mind, I know that the important stuff of life is right in front of me right now. My sweet beautiful kids are little. My husband and I are healthy and so is our extended family. We are in our prime. I know this.
Yet the last week was a difficult one. Coming home from a long, exhausting day with no down time to recover and going straight into toddler tantrum mayhem - and who can blame them for not wanting to bathe and sleep when they haven't had quality time with us all day. But it's exhausting. And then to have to somehow log back on after they go down, and keep on working.
I had more moments than I'd like to admit where I just wanted a break. To just get away. To catch my breath. It was only more stressful because I knew I'd be leaving on a business trip soon, and despite my exhaustion, I still wanted to maximize my time with the kids.
Being away today - I miss them so much. But in this short break I have post-meetings and before our evening events commence, I had a little downtime. And as I checked my feed, came across this link to this old video.
I couldn't hold back the tears. There's a lot going on right now. And in spite of my best efforts, I've gotten into that cycle again. So much pressure. So much to do. And I'm letting those to-dos take control again.
We can't miss out. Otherwise, it will all be in vein. Perhaps it's a good time to reevaluate again, to prioritize again. Or to just give myself a little break. Carving out and prioritizing just being with my kids. My husband too. After all, that's want they want most, more than what I do for them.
Yes, some of those to-dos have to get done. But I think I'll spend the flight home later this week brainstorming some ways to still get those things done but to put first that time with my loved ones. The women in the video said it so eloquently - what they wouldn't give for even just a few more minutes of that time. We have that right now. Let's make sure we take ahold of it. No regrets.
Here is the full text of the video here. So beautiful.
If I were a young woman now, I’m not sure how I’d cope.
With all the things that you have, the opportunities, the technology, I’d like to think it could be a world of pleasure
But I fear instead, it would only be a world of pressure
Pressure to be the perfect mother
The perfect wife
The perfect friend
Pressure to be successful, a boss, a leader
If I had my time again, I wouldn’t create a to-do list
I would create a to-don’t-do list
I’d give myself the time to indulge in the things that I now understand are the most important
What I wouldn’t give to extend those goodnight kisses instead of moaning about having to get up early in the morning
What I wouldn’t give for an extra second of cuddling my babies before they became too big to hold
What I wouldn’t give for 5 more minutes on the dance floor while my legs were still strong enough to carry me
This isn’t about stopping our fight for equality
Mine was the generation who burnt their bras
But we were never in danger of burning out
No, this is simply about you as a human being
There’s the most important word – being
Being lost in the moment
Being at peace with the world
Being kinder to myself
Being kinder to others
Being able to let go and being proud to do so
Believe me, if I were a young woman now
I’d spend more time being
From "If I Were A Young Woman Now," originally created by Sanctuary Spa.